Great weekend and Vacations

Ahhh, just enjoying the last few hours of the weekend with strawberries covered in chocolate and a cup of green tea.

Busy but good weekend. Got lots done that was on my to do list which always leaves you with a good, things -are getting-done feeling.

We're now booked for 2 holidays this year and I am so excited about them both.  The first one is road trip to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina where all of hubby's family and us are staying at a ocean front house for a week.  We went for a drive today and talked about our nice, take our time drive there. I'm am looking so forward to hearing the ocean, walking along the beach, showing Cooper how to build sand castles, seeing the sun set while sitting on the beach all tanned and rested after spending the day in the sun and spending time with family. 

The other trip has us going to Newfoundland in September for a week with my parents which I am equally as excited about.  I haven't been there in about 15 years.  I come from quite a big family. My mom is 1 of 14 (yes, 14 and yes, they are all biological children to my grandmother) and my dad is 1 of 9. So add on husbands and wives and a couple of kids each and that's my family.  Some of them are up here close to where we live but most are still in Nfld.  It is absolutely breath taking there.  It is going to be so much fun. I'm anxious for hubby to meet the rest of the family he married into and to be able to get a glimpse into another way of life.  It's so much more relaxed and friendlier than what we're used to here.

So, I'm spending the rest of the evening searching the net for touristy things to  do at each of these places to get myself even more excited about going.

Hope you all had a great weekend.

Question

I've been slacking in going to my fitness class.  Well, with good reason though. I was sick one week and got in the car accident the next week. Anyway, I went again last night and man the teacher worked us. Which is good but off topic.  The instructer is this tiny, bouncy, smiling young girl.  She's sweet and cute and is good at getting us all motivated. She's from Poland and just got back from a 3 week visit from there so last night she was telling a few of us about her trip before the class started. She said that the food there is soooooo much different than the food here. Specifically fruits and vegetables.  She said it took her 4 months to get used to the food here because of all the pesticides and what not. She says, it makes the fruits and vegetables taste totally different. For example: Tomatoes actaully have a very strong aroma to them in Poland. Here they do not. When she first moved here, she missed the smell of tomatos.  I grew tomatoes in my garden last summer, free of pesticides and I have to say, I don't know what smell she's referencing.  Anyway, now I am curious. What do the fruits and vegetables of Poland taste like?  I buy organic vegetables that have been grown pesticide free but I wouldn't say there's a difference in taste.  Are my taste buds just dead after years and years of eating vegetables grown with pesticides?

Fighting a bad attitude

These are pics from my garden that I just took.  The garden figurines make me chuckle everytime I see them and the daffodils just popped open 2 days ago. 

I'm fighting being in a bad mood. Have been for a few days now. I'm tired. Very tired. And when I'm tired, things that are good and okay aren't good and okay any longer. I pick at things that should be left well alone and I irritate myself because I know I am doing it yet can't help myself.  I really don't do tired well. Napping during the day just isn't cutting it. I feel like there's a thick tension that could just as easily snap as can be fixed. But the more tired I get, the more it leans towards snapping.  This probably doesn't even make sense.

At least I'm trying to make my mood better right?

Tagged

Yes, I know. These can be annoying but this is the first time I've been tagged and youngmummy is just too nice to say no to.  So here it goes; 6 weird things about me:

1. I'm a chap stick FREAK.  I CAN NOT live without chapstick.  Hubby thought it would be funny one time to hide my chapsticks. I thought I was going nuts losing them. He couldn't believe how many "back ups" I had. He gave up on taking them because I just kept going and getting another one.

2. I count everything in 2's.  OCD?- yes. But only when it comes to counting things in two's. I count everything. Angle's, headlights, lines, actually I count everything. Almost anything can be counted.

3. I chew on the insides of my cheeks. That sounds soo totally weird written down but I do others that do it too so I'm not that weird.

4. I am a freak with things being organized. Everything has a place!

5. I like macaroni and cheese with mayonnaise and tomato soup. All mixed together. It's actually an amazing hang over cure. Go on, try it. You know you want to.

6.  Actually, goes with #5. I like mixing food that normally doesn't go together. Like- spicy sausage, tomato, mayonnaise, jam and cream cheese on a bagel. For breakfast.  Oh, and Nutella is good with everything! 

So there, 6 weird things about me.  I won't tag anyone but feel free to leave your weird stuff in the comments or on your blog (just be sure to tell me you did it).

Change

On Friday night I cut my hair. It's different. Totally different.  I went from hair that was down to the middle of my back to hair that doesn't even touch my shoulders.  I'll post a pic as soon as I can find my camera*.  It's a different color too. Still in the red shade except with a hint of caramel highlights.  I love it. It was a much needed change.  Amazing what a change of hair style can do.

Yesterday, mylozmom came to visit which was soooo great. I got to feel little Hannah kick. YEAH!  It was the first time I felt a little ones kick only from the outside.  Mylozmom is the first pregnant woman I know other than myself so the only time I ever felt a baby kick was when Cooper was kicking me.  It was so neat.  I'm so excited for her and her hubby that I could pop.  I was going through Cooper's newborn clothes, picking out the the things that could be for a girl too and my goodness how quickly you forget that newborn stage.  Looking at these tiny, tiny diapers and onesies made me all broody again.  To think that Cooper once fit into those little outfits had me reminiscent of those early days and weeks. The newness of it all. The excitement. And most of all the  amazement that this tiny baby was ours.  He is a part of each of us.  Last night I did a few more pages in Cooper's scrapbook and thought back to the beginning.  I can barely remember what life was like before him now and even though the road gets tough, I love every second of it.  I can't wait to make him a big brother.  To have another little one. To hear the newborn cry again.  Ahhhh, okay gotta stop with that talk now before I call hubby and order him to come home to… well.. you know.

In other changes; 3 of the moms from the moms group are going back to work soon. One started yesterday, one starts next week and the 3rd starts in a few weeks.  This leaves us to 4 including myself.  We've all built really close friendships with one another and bonded the way moms bond.  It's so refreshing and sanity saving to be able to meet once a week with women who know exactly how you feel. There's no need to sugar coat it. Most comforting is that they understand.  We understand the moms schedule and how life at this stage revolves around nap time.  We understand that some days, actually most days probably, showers don't come until after bed time.  We understand that being able to wear a clean shirt and some lip sticks means you're having a really good day. To have a sounding board of 6 other moms is great too.  We're all first timers at this and haven't a clue.  There's nothing like hearing the words "oh my goodness, mine does the same thing."  I do hope that we make the effort to keep meeting.  It's as important for us as it is for the kids. How cool would it be for our kids to remain friends and in a few years be able to show them pictures of themselves all hanging out as babies.

All right, well that's it for now.  I've been tagged by youngmummy but am still thinking about it so that't to come later.

* I've been looking for days and days and have not found it.  Where on earth could I have put it?

What the ??

The mystery that has yet to be solved in our house:

Cooper woke up Saturday night at 12:30 screaming.  I went in, did the usual routine of gripe water and lullabye's with snuggles. All seemed great until I put him back in his crib. He was NOT having it.  Picked him up again, snuggled, sang etc until all was calm. Put him back in crib. WAILING again.  Got hubby. Asked him what he thought could be the problem.  Teething? Gave him some tylenol, more snuggles, more singing. All is good so back to the crib. WAILING.  2:30am rolls around and still no sign of sleep in sight.  Hubby and I had been out (will post about this in another post) so I was finished. Could not stay up any longer. This is where I broke the cardinal rule. I brought Cooper to bed with us.   I always said, I wouldn't do it because it would open a can of worms that I was not willing to deal with. But with the circumstances the way they were, it had to be done. One thing I've learned in this parenting thing is to never say never.  Every situation has it's braking point. Cooper didn't like it much but with enough sshhhiiinngg from hubby and I he ended up falling asleep. Sitting up. At 5:45am I woke up to a sharp blow to the nose.  I, in my sleepy slumber thought that it was hubby.  When I sat up getting ready to return the blow, I relaized I had Cooper's foot in my hand and that it was him who had clocked me one in the face.  He woke up around 6:00am mad at first.  Then he saw me and Hubby and calmed down. He then, like an agel, started playing with my hair. Playing with my nose and singing quietly and nicely to me.  All though I was only at 4 hours sleep that moment was extermemly cute and heart warming.

I tried putting him down for a nap and all though he was tired, he was not having it.  Hubby and I then decided to got to McDonald's breakfast. We got back home and I put Cooper down for a nap. This time he couldn't fight it any longer.  He slept from 11:00-2:00.  This made for an excellent nap for hubby and I too but still not enough.  We spent the  afternoon hanging out and grocery shopping. Cooper was in a great mood the whole day especially given the fact that he had such a horrible night.

We went through the whole bed time routine without so much as a moan.  But then, when it was time to go in the crib to sleep, it was WAILING again. I vowed that I was not going to do the same song and dance that we had done the night before.  We went downstairs and put on a movie as Cooper cried himself to sleep.  It took about 15 mintues.  Not bad compared to other stories I hear but why? Why all of a sudden is he doing this?  Bad sleep patterns can't start in the middle of the night can they?

I'm thinking teeth but that's always the assumed reason when you can't see any other factor's playing into their changed behaviour.  I guess sometimes you just have to not ask why and just roll with the punches as they come.

Ouch

A whole bunch of random tid bits for today:

1. The estimate for my car is 10,463.00. S*&T!!

2. My insurance is going to sky rocket. F*&%!!!

3. We have to get a new car seat because all the books and safety manuals I've read say you have to replace it even if the accident was a small fender bender.  Car seats are designed to only suffer 1 impact.  A$$ F^^!!!

4. My car is going to take 2 weeks to fix at best.  -  This one isn't so bad as I do have a rental car that I actually kind of like better than my car.

Okay- now that that's all out, onto better things.

1.  Cooper stood up by himself in his crib this morning.

2. Cooper has started waving hello as well as bye- bye.

3.  I'm getting my hair done tonight for the first time in forever. (okay, slight fib there but it's been a really, really long time)

4. I'm going out with hubby tomorrow tongiht on a date. WOO HOO.

5. Cooper has been super happy and snuggly and that makes everything else seem really small because really, as a mom, that's all that matters. That my boy is healthy and happy.  The snuggles are extra and couldn't have come at a better time.

6. I joined a really cool moms group.

I think that's all for now.  Sorry for the point form, but I'm still really scattered.

Accident

Yesterday, I was in an accident.  I was on the way to the doctor's, Cooper was screaming in the back. I turned to him to give him a toy and when I turned back around the van in front  of me was braking hard. I braked as hard as I could but I didn't stop in time and rear ended the van. Both the front air bags deployed. The passenger one broke the windshield on impact.  Dust was everywhere, my arm got burnt from the air bag and Cooper started screaming in shock.  I literally felt like I was in the matrix and everything around me had stopped but I was still moving.  Cooper's cries sounded so far away. I unbuckled myself and rushed out of the car. I heard a clicking noise coming from the engine and had a vision of the car exploding with Cooper still in it. I got back in the front seat and turned the car off. I ran out and to the other side and got Cooper.  I rushed over to the grass out of harms way and started balling uncontrollably.  The woman who I rear ended was nice about it all and kept making sure Cooper and I were all right. The police showed up and they were nice too.  I called hubby immediately after the accident and he rushed to where I was. He was so great about the whole situation and made me feel better all though I still could not stop crying. I cried for about 3 hours.  I got a pretty heavty ticket and the charge was careless driving. 6 points.  That's BAD. REALLY BAD. The cop was nice about it and said he had no choice but to charge me with that offence since it was a rear end situation but to try and fight it. He said that's what he would do if it happened to him. The prosecuter might understand a bit given that I had a screaming baby in the car.  It still doesn't take it away though.

We're all okay and I made another doctor's apt for today.  I'm trying not to beat myself too bad but it's hard.  I have a guilty concious to begin with.  The feeling and thoughts that Cooper could have been hurt are weighing heavy on my heart.  I can't even write this without crying.  His smiles and laughter last night made me feel better and worse at the same time.  How life could have changed so drastically.  I'm thankful we're okay. I'm soooo sorry that it happened.

 I just can't belive it happened. I just can't believe I caused it.  It all happened so fast that I'm still in a bit of a daze. 

Could have, should have, would have. 

Bi-polar day

This morning was hideous!  As per my last entry you get the idea of my morning. We didn't even make it to lunch. I made it while Cooper moaned and whined. We sat down to eat and his whines turned into whine-crying and that was our breaking point.  He was crying, I was crying, it was just too much for either of us.  I left lunch on the table, made him a bottle and went upstairs. He fell asleep half way through the bottle so I put him down. I'm not sure why, but he cried for about 1 minute when I did. He had fallen asleep while drinking his bottle so I'm not sure what  he was upset about. I then walked straight to my bed and fell asleep.  An hour and a half later Cooper woke up and turned his music thing on and just layed there singing nicely.  I was half awake and smiled when I heard his little tiny voice singing to his music.  I went in to get him and he was just as happy to see me as I was to see him.  We came downstairs, had our lunch and went on with our day. 

I call days like these, bi-polar days. They start out having you wonder how you're ever going to get through the day and end with smiles and laughter which have you looking forward to the next day.

So what do you do?

To the moms out there: 

What do you do when you're having a bad day. One of those reallllly bad days. The days where you'd like to lock yourself in your bedroom and not come out until bed time.  The days where, you're sick. You've had minimal sleep. You have a raging headache. And your 13 month old has no mercy.  Has no mercy not only because he's only 13 months old but he's sick and teething and feeling just as miserable as you probably are (but has had more sleep).

What do you when it's this kind of day and it's only 8:30am?